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America The Beautiful Zappa, Moon Unit.
Headline Book Publishing, 338 Euston Road, London NWI 3BH
ISBN: 0-7472-7382-0
Pages: 280
Language: English Category: Misc


 Semi-authobiographic novel printed yet (Jan, 2001) only in England

From: Vladimir Sovetov <>
  Below is a review I wrote just to please my good, old friend Dr. John Scialli.

  Moon Unit Zappa wrote a novel. It isn't a story about a famous father. It isn't a story about being a daughter of a famous father too. It's a book on being left an orphan. And in a century-old American tradition it is extremely funny.

  And amazingly well-written.

  I mean for a person once publicly declared herself a little bit dyslexic. For a person educated at the Gallery. You know, Encino Pac-Man University. For someone giving a grouppie head to a heavy metal band drummer. Yes, you could expect anything from this kid, being selfish, stupid, bitchy... yes, anything... anything but tragedy.

  There are simply no such word in Zappas' universe. Frank made us believe it. And he definitely was sure of it himself.

  And still the pain is something that makes the series of the boring recurrent idiocy patterns of America Ludmilla Odin Throne crusade for becoming a sweet housewife a novel. A novel about someone not wanted, rejected and totally wrong just because the very first man in her life was so scared by broken hearts that willingly chose a part of an asshole.

 "The Thing I Hate about My Father:

1.His cheating
2.His lack of attention to me in my life
3.That I heard my parents have sex all the time and that he never
made noise during sex, but my mother sounded like she was dying
while my father had no way of communicating I mean I couldn't
express my disappointment, anger, or joy and so as a result we
never had any time together, just two of us (not even dinner as a
family) except, wait, one time in NY, but the restaurant owner
sat with us so I don't think think that counts, in addition, I have
no personal photos of him because I know how much it bothered him
when fans wanted his photo so none of us ever asked besides
he thought he was ugly and I look like him so I thought I was ugly
and he didn't think my mom was pretty or valuable or why else would
he cheated on her so much and I look like her too and he cheated
on her so I choose men that need to be babied and coddled and
felt weird when they tried to do things for me I mean we had zero
boundaries anyhow so how could I be grateful for tiny gestures like
the time I gave Jamie Nye a blow job out of gratitude because he
pulled a chair out for me and got my coat he wanted sex and I
wanted him to leave so I blew him.
Thanks dad."

  Yes, father-daughter rapport is essential in keeping electricity of the happiness going, and no doubt about this thing, even if it was some notorious Viennian who said it first. The basic father's biological function is to accept love, to give a feeling that the male species of the Earth can be won, subdued and tamed. It's a must even if this little replica of you looks surprisingly the same like the funniest characters of your own songs, paintings or... fill in the blank.

  It seems, that Frank Zappa, oops, Boris Throne, the famous painter, writer, performer, the universally acclaimed genius, had no time on these nice, but mundane duties. And the only way left to communicate with him was through his art, but if one blood relative happened to hate it, just because the word penis give her a cold shivers, her fate is to be a loser. And write about it.

  About licorice, geranium, sage, mustard and yucca, khakis, t-shirts, socks, and lace-up boots, camomile tea, chai tea and tea with milk, Virgo, Scorpio and Pisces, about everything flashing in a lone girl's car window on an endless trip from blow job to blow job neon, from period to period exits, trying her best to transform the sad reality and being unable to conceal it at all.

  What an abyss! But with a flickering light at the bottom.

"The Thing I Love about My Father:

1.his humour,
2.his mind,
3.his commitment to himself and his creativity, no matter the
distraction, his belief in himself, no matter the criticism, his
focus, his kidness, the way he was so patient with his freaky
fans, his ability to actually enjoy himself, the way he did
everything so expertly, in his own way, in his own time, his smell,
his hands, his hugs, the way he loved me unconditionally, and how
happy I felt when he loved me. "

  Good, this is a working plan, blueprint, the one you missed since a day of your birth can be re-designed, re-created, or at least found. And without toys for three-years old that look better than life itself. You know, like paintings, like writing, like music.

  So, yes, it isn't a book about the father, it is a book for fathers, whoever they are. And this is the reason why FZ fans must read it too. Despite even the fact that Frank himself most probably wouldn't even understand what this novel is all about. The very same way as his own mother couldn't understand why he is doing all this on TV. But as well as Rose-Marie he would be proud of his daughter America Ludmilla, pardon, Moon Unit.. After all she can do an impossible thing. Yes...

  She can dance about love.

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