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ß "Esszett" sz
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ä a-Umlaut ae
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Ä A-Umlaut Ae
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ü u-Umlaut ue
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Ü U-Umlaut Ue
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ö o-Umlaut oe
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Ö O-Umlaut Oe
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Give Me Some Floor Covering Under This Fat Floating Sofa
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This a piece for those in the audience
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who happen to speak german.
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If you do happen to speak german
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after this piece you'll probably regret it
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One,two,three
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Once upon a time
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Way back a long time ago
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When the universe consisted
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Of nothing more elaborate
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than Mark Maroon
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Oh, thank you Frank.
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Hiya, friends!
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What a life?
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I can't begin to tell you
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I mean.. today as I was walking here
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Just like every place else I go
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People walk up to me and they go:
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Mark, Mark, Mark
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Bark, bark bark
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I hear a little dog
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Mark,
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Are you kidding?
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And all I can say back to them is friends,
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Friends, I am not kidding
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I feel great.
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I mean I'm portly
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And I'm maroon
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What else could you ask for?
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Can anybody here in this audience
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In our vast audience back there
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Even you in the cheap seats
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Can you guess what I am?
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No, we can't guess what you are
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we can't guess
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Well then, I'll give each and every one of you some clues
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Clue number one
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(and I've already given this away)
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I'm portly Clue number one.
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I'm portly I am clue number one.
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I still don't know who you are
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OK,
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Then I'll give you clue number two
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And this is very important to the girls in the audience
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I'm double knit
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Ohhhhh
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I stretch
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And clue number three
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Oh no,no, Still don't know who you are, though..
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Well, I was gonna to give ya the clue anyway
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Does it matter with response like that?
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Clue number three
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And these are for the people standing
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right in front the vocal PA-mike
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Ich bin maroon
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Ahhhh, Why didn't you say so
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Once upon a time
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Way back a long time ago
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Way back when the universe consisted
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Of nothing more elaborate
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than Mark Maroon
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Thank you, Frank
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Hiya Friends
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Trying to convince
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each and every members of this audience here tonight
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that he was nothing more, nothing less
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Than a fat maroon sofa
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Suspended in the midst of a vast emptiness
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A light shineth down from Heaven
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And who should appeare but the Good Lord himself
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And his faithful Saint Bernard, Wendell
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Down Wendell, down!
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And he was feeling fine that day
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And if there was one thing that he could use
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It would be a nice sofa for him and Wendell
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And he looked at the sofa
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And he said unto himself : This sofa is all right
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Except what it needs is a floor
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And so in order to attain the floor
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He consulted with the celestial corps of engineers
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And addressed them formaly
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With the little song in Deutsch
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Because that is the way he talks whenever it's heavy business
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Take it away God
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Gib zu mir
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Etwas Fußbodenbelag
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Unter diesem fetten, fließenden Sofa
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Gib zu mir
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Etwas Fussbodenbelag
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Unter diesem fetten, fliessenden Sofa
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And of course that means
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Give unto to me a bit of flooring
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Underneath of this fat floating sofa
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And sure enough boards of oak appeared throughout the emptiness
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As far as vision permits
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Stretching all the way from Fondue Central up on top of the hill
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Right down to the front door of the Excelsior Hotel
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And the Lord proceeded
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To deliver unto the sofa
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A brief lecture
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That will set forth in specific language
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the sum total of all
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their future relationships, including options
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With an electric clarinet
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Ich bin der Himmel
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(This goes out to [?Irving Porter] in the box)
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Ich bin das Wasser
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Ich bin der Dreck unter deinen Walzen
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Ich bin dein geheimer Schmutz
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Und verlorenes Metallgeld
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Ich bin deine Ritze
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Ich bin deine Ritze und Schlitze
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Ich bin Wolken
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Ich bin bestickt
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Ich bin der Autor aller Felgen und Damask Paspeln
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Ich bin der chrome dinette
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Ich bin der chrome dinette
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Ich bin Eier aller Arten
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Ich bin alle Tage und Naechte
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Ich bin alle Tage und Naechte
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Ich bin hier
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Und du bist mein Sofa
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Ich bin hier
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Und du bist mein Sofa
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Ich bin hier
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Und du bist mein Sofa
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I'm here and you are my sofa
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Eddie, are you kidding me ?
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Eddie, are you kidding me ?
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Eddie, are you kidding me ?
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Ein Licht scheint vom Himmel herab
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(Means: A light shines down from Heaven.
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Kometen und alle rasenden Trümmer
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Comets and all rushing wreckages
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Dunkle Gase und tiefgefrorene ??????
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Dark gas and deep-frozen ???
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Zittern bei der Ankunft des Herren
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Are trembling at the arrival
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of the Lord )
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A light shines down from Heaven
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A dense ecumenical patina
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At the right hand of God's big sofa
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And the Lord put aside his huge cigar
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And concidered it was time now
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to entertain himself
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On the Heavenly afternoon
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With the sofa, Wendell, his girlfriend
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Who was a little bit short
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And her assistant Squat, the magic pig
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And he did it like this
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Bring her zu mir
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(Means: Bring on to me
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Das kurze Mädchen
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the short girl
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Bring on to me the short girl
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Und Squat, das magische Schwein
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and Squat, the magic pig)
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And Squat the magic pig
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And big light
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Because we gonna make a home movie
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Fick mich, du miserabler Hurensohn
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Fick mich, du miserabler hurensohn
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Streck aus deinen heißen gelockten
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Streck aus deinen heissen gelockten
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Streck aus deinen heissen gelockten
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Schwanz
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Ah-ee-ahee-ahhhhh!
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( ?????? guys )
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Fick mich, du miserabler Hurensohn
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Fick mich, du miserabler hurensohn
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Streck aus deinen heissen gelockten
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Streck aus deinen heissen gelockten
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Streck aus deinen heissen gelockten
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schwanz
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Ah-ee-ahee-ahhhhh!
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Mach es sehr schnell
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Rein und raus
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Mach es sehr schnell
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Rein und raus
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Mach es sehr schnell
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Rein und raus
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Magisches Schwein
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Mach es sehr schnell
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Rein und raus
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Magisches Schwein
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Bis er spritzt, spritzt, spritzt, spritzt
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Bis es spritzt (?) (Both, es and er, is possible)
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Feuer!
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Bis er spritzt, spritzt, spritzt, spritzt
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Feuer!
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Bis er spritzt, spritzt, spritzt, spritzt
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Feuer!
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Bis er spritzt, spritzt, spritzt, spritzt
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Feuer!
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Aber beklecker nicht das Sofa, Sofa!
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Aber beklecker nicht das Sofa, Sofa!
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Aber beklecker nicht das Sofa, Sofa!
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Aber beklecker nicht das Sofa, Sofa!
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Armed Forces Radio, Radio Free Europe
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Fuck me, you ugly son of a bitch
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You ugly son of a bitch
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Fuck me, you ugly son of a bitch
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Stick it out
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Stick out yer hot curly weenie
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Stick it out
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Stick out yer hot curly weenie
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Stick it out
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Stick out yer hot curly weenie
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Weenie... weenie, weenie, weenie!
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Make it go fast!
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In and out,
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Magical Pig
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Make it go real fast!
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In and out,
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Magical Pig
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Till it squirts, squirts, squirts, squirts
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Fire
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Till it squirts, squirts, squirts, squirts
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Fire
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Don't get no jizz upon that sofa, sofa
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Don't get no jizz upon that sofa, sofa
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Don't get no jizz upon that sofa, sofa
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Don't get no jizz upon that sofa, sofa
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(Please me
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I'm not a groupie!
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I'm not a groupie!
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I'm not a groupie!
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I'm not a groupie!
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I'm not a groupie!
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I hear and obey, [? ?].)
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Sheets of fire, ladies and gentelmen
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Lachen von Feuer
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Sheets of real fire
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Lachen von Feuer
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Sheets of dried water
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which is a new form of fondue
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Lachen von getrocknetem Wasser
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And the Lord causeth the short girl to kneel
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And make mysterious gestures
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Near the reproductive orifice of Squat the magic pig
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And proceeded to broadcast her pure sweet voice
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Throughout his greatest new PA system
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all over the Alps and everything (Yodle)
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Fick mich, Schwein, bis meine ???? dunkles Gas bläst,
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Funken schießem heraus, sich Nebel blasen(?) hat(?)
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And for our boys in uniform
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That means: Fuck me swine
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Until my orchestra blows dark gas
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sparks shoot out
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and nebulas are revealed
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Along with sheets of fire
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Lachen von Feuer
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Sheets of dried water
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Lachen von getrocknetem Wasser
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Lachen von Feuer
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Sheets of dried water
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Lachen von getrocknetem Wasser
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Sheets of large deprived rumba
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Lachen von riesigen, tiefgefrorenen Rumba
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A light shines down from Heaven
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A dense ecumenical bandana
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At the right hand of God's big rumba(?)
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And his voice pronounceth out
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in sheets of plywood
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and bales of old sportshirts
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(Vot dooz he say?)
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Ballen von alten Sporthemden (????)
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And he says in the middle
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of his delirious stupor
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Beklecker nicht
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Beklecker nicht
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(...)
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Beklecker nicht mein Sofa!
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Obviuosly meaning
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Don't get no jizz on the sofa
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It is now time for
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the bales of imported unmiti-con..
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unmitigated zircon fondue
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Ballen von Zecken Fondu
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und alten Sporthemden Fondu
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Lachen von Feuer Fundo
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Lachen von ????? Fondu
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Lachen von Tränen Fondu
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Lachen von ??? kleister??? Spitzen Fondu
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Any proposal? I'd like to hear!