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JOE'S GARAGE

 Crew Slut

Notes and Comments
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kneel with their little pink mouths
open near the crew bus, hoping
to save the price of admission
by performing acts of Hooverism on the
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jolly lads who set up the P.A. System.
From: Brian Zavitz <bzavitz@fres2.GLFC.Forestry.CA>
  Hoover is a company that makes vacuum cleaners. To hoover means to suck.
From: Gary Rush <grush@crl.com>
  obviously the vacuum cleaner, but lately a new pun has possibilites as rumors gain credence that f.b.i. director hoover was homosexual. ( i shouldn't have used the word obviously, hoover has become another word for vacuum cleaner here in the u.s., it's like second nature to use it even if the v.c. is another brand.)
  See also comments to #9 Scrutinizer Postlude
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Larry:
CREW SLUT
*Add water makes its own sauce*
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Be a CREW SLUT
*So you don't forget,
call before midnite tonite*
From: John Henley <jhenley@mail.utexas.edu>
  The "add water" is from commercials for the dog food Gravy Train. It's a dry food and if you add water it turns into a brown muck that dogs seem to like.
  "Call before midnight tonight" is a commonly-heard statement in commercials for stuff that is usually sold-only-on-cable-TV, like the Pocket Fisherman. Back in the 60s and 70s you'd probably only hear it late at night or early in the morning. It never meant anything - they'd run the same commercial for 6 months and it was still saying "Call before midnight tonight to get our free bonus!" Just a sucker scam.
From: fnord@panix.com (Cliff Heller)
  Yes. Add water, makes it's own sauce was from a DOG FOOD commercial. The Dry Food is pretty unappetizing, but by adding water, it becomes a gourmet taste treat for phydeaux.
  If you listen carefully to the intro to the song "Joe's Garage", you can hear one of them say "Makes It's Own Sauce, Take Eight"
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So, darlin', take a little ride
On the mixer's face
From: Gary Rush <grush@crl.com>
  i think this is an old term for the sound man. rather than what we know as sound boards now, then was known as the mixer.
From: ulrich@sfu.ca <Charles Ulrich>
  The sound man who plays with all the knobs that adjust the relative volume of the different instruments. In 1988 it was Harry Andronis (cf. the version of this song on YCDTOSA, Volume 6).
  The technical term for face-riding is cunnilingus.
  CC
From: fnord@panix.com (Cliff Heller)
  Lonesome Cowboy Burt, Ride My Face to Chicago
  A very common expression for cunnilingus
  Monty Python: Sit On My Face and Tell Me That You Love Me
Mark & Howard: He's LONESOME COWBOY BURT
Don'tcha get his feelin' hurt

Jimmy: Come on this place

An'I'll buy you taste,
N'you can sit on my face,
Where's my waitress?
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Be a CREW SLUT
*Just follow the magic footprints*
Be a CREW SLUT
*It's a way of life*
*I ain't gonna squash it*
*And you don't need to wash it!*
From: Brian Zavitz <bzavitz@fres2.GLFC.Forestry.CA>
  I don't know what the "footprints" is referring to. Maybe he's just showing her where to go. "You don't need to wash it" refers to the crew's need for pussy. They want to get laid so bad, they don't care how dirty the pussy is. If the girls are dirty, they may have VD, but the crew doesn't seem to care. Until it starts to hurt when they pee.
From: Vladimir Sovetov <sova@kpbank.ru>
  I have another picture before my eyes. Follow the magic footprints is a mockery on some superstar story of success. Just follow her magic footprints and you'll become another blow job master. And about washin' Wasn't it prick you shouldn't supposed to wash beautiful secretions aroma from?-)))
From: "Dave Wilcher" <dwilcher@woh.rr.com>
  I had some thoughts on Crew Slut's "magic footprints". I can remember seeing advertisements in magazines and on television years ago for "dance lessons" that consisted of large sheets of paper with footprints printed on them to tell you where to move your feet to do a certain dance. Hey, wait! In the Cruising With Ruben And The Jets album, there they are - instructions for "The Bop" - just follow the Magic Footprints!
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Mary:
Eh, hah ha, I'm into leather...
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Larry:
*That's good! A lot of the boys in the crew Love Leather...*
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Mary:
*And rubber...*
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Larry:
*Yeh, they like rubber too...shrink-tubing*
*With a hair dryer...*
From: Brian Zavitz <bzavitz@fres2.GLFC.Forestry.CA>
  Maybe not S&M, but just strange toys during sex. Rubber shrink tubing is used in chemistry labs and hospitals. When it is heated (with something like a hair dryer), it shrinks. I'm trying to think if Mary would be wearing the tubing when they shrink it, or if she is just tied up with it.
From: Gary Rush <grush@crl.com>
  when setting up a sound system there are many cables. for safety and to easily trouble shoot cables, are grouped using shrink-tubing. shrink tubing can be shrunk using a hair dryer although there are commerical grade heat guns that look like hair dryers, and so carry the name.
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Road Crew Chorus:
Trade your spot on the bench
For a guy with a wrench
From: petehip@cogsci.ed.ac.uk (Peter Hipwell)
  Sportsmen not participating in a match (waiting for substitution) are "on the bench". I don't know if you can construe "spot on the bench" as referring to a "wet patch" as well as just position. A wrench is a "tool" as well as a "violent twist" or "sudden dislocation" which all fit with the Crew Slut theme (jeez, I'm starting to sound like Ben Watson).
From: Gary Rush <grush@crl.com>
  i always think of Mr. Goodwrench, the general motors marketing plan to bring more business to their shops.
From: Brian Zavitz <bzavitz@fres2.GLFC.Forestry.CA>
  It's another reference that if she screwa a crew member, she gets to know the band up close. I think "trading her spot on the bench" refers to giving up her seat in the audience in order to get more personal.
From: "Jeff Hartford" <jeffhart@flash.net>
  I wanted to give you my opinion Re: the lines "guy with a wrench " and "evil barbarian with a wrench in his pocket" from Joe's Garage.
  As a former theatre tech (but not a roadie), I think this is referring to the crescent wrench that most crew members carried. Usually in their back pocket, often with a cord from it to their belt. The purpose of the wrench was to tighten the "C" clamps holding the lights to whatever pipe or post they were connected to. And to tighten the adjustment screws after aiming the light, hence the ever-present wrench. The cord was so that if you dropped it, it didn't fall and crack someone's skull.
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Larry:
It looks just like a Telefunken U-47
You'll love it...
From: sweet@skat.usc.edu (Rob Sweet)
  The Telefunken U-47 is an old tube condenser microphone that looks something like a Neumann U-87 condenser, or a Neumann U-67 tube condenser. I wouldn't say they are phallic looking, but they are large and "tubular". Great sounding mikes by the way. (And very expensive.)
From: Brian Zavitz <bzavitz@fres2.GLFC.Forestry.CA>
  OK let's clear this up... The U-47 is a phallus-shaped microphone. The leather has NOTHING to do with the microphone or with a phallus. Mary (the girl who was stuck to the seat on Phydeaux 3) is into leather. So the present from the boys in the band is a penis-like object and Mary is asking if she can get some leather (clothing? bondage?) at the same time that she is getting the present.
From: linetramp@delphi.com
  The U47 by Telefunken is a VERY expensive relic from the days of vacuum tube amplification systems and anyone fortunate enough to own one MIGHT let you look at it (from a distance) for a price. Actually touching one is out of the question. Every one I have seen has been hand carried and kept under lock and key. They are a condenser microphone with a vacuum tube preamp and have what is subjectively called a "warm sound" compared to modern devices. The U47 is invaluable when recording a no-talent puke with a "fingernails on a chalkboard" type voice, as it can almost make them sound human. It can make a talented performer sound superhuman and a quality instrument sound like angels singing.
  Several decades ago, Telefunken was bought out by, or changed their name to, Neuman (pronounced Noy_man) and released the U87, a modern version with squarish edges and a solid state preamp. They are expensive but very common and are seen in radio stations and in rock videos, usually with a round, white "spit-screen" in front of them.
  If you have a chance to get either one TAKE IT! Even if you are not a musician. A U47 would probably get you a lifetime of backstages passes or at least the first pick of the groupies.
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