The Dangerous Kitchen

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The dangerous kitchen
If it aint't one thing it's another
In the middle of the night when you get home
The bread things are all dry 'n' scratchy
The meat thing
Where the cats ate trough the paper
The can things with the sharp little edges
That can cut your fingers when you're not looking
The soft little things on the floor that you step on
They can all be DANGEROUS
  Funny great song about what appeared to be Frank nightly experience
  " I work in the middle of the night so, when I hungry, I wind up digging in drawers to find something a teenager would refuse to eat. If I know we bought hot dogs that day, maybe I'll find a couply of buns left. The hot dogs are all gone. There aren't even any in the freezer. So I eat peanut butter. Most of the time the bread is gone - so I just shovel some out of the jar with a spoon."
FZ. The Real Frank Zappa Book, Poseidon Press, p.253
It's disgusting and dirty
The sponge on the drainer
Is stinky and squirty
If you squeeze it when you wipe up
What you get on your hands then
Could un-balance your glands and
Make you blind or whatever
In the dangerous kitchen
At my house tonight
From: Unknown Netter :-(((
  The style of this and The Radio Is Broken is, I believe, called sprechgesang (half-sung, half-spoken). Schoenberg used it (?)
From: (Paul Hinrichs)
  Also "sprechstimme" - used by the composer Englebert Humperdink in his operas.
From: Vladimir Sovetov <>
  Frank himself called it "singsong tone talking"
  'Father Of Invention', Music Technology, Feb, 1987, interview by Rick Davis. As cited by Neil Slaven. Electric Don Quixote. p.260
  "We have this thing called meltdown, where, depending on what's in the news of the day, or what happened in the audience during the show, I'd start talking in singsong tone of voice and then Tommy Mars would chop changes behind it. Now that's very freeform, kind of like 'The Dangerous Kitchen' or 'The Jazz Discharge Party Hats'; those both are meltdown events. In the case of 'Dangerous Kitchen', it's a fixed set of lyrics that has variable pitches and variable rhythms. In the case of 'The Jazz Discharge Party Hats', it was completely sponateous, 100% improvised by me and the band. It ended up right on the spot in this concert in Illinois."

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